The holidays are upon us: Christmas and New Year. There will be joyful celebrations and cherished moments… for all but one group of people. Single women. If you’re in this demographic, chances are people treat you differently than your married friends; they may pry into the reasons you’ve not managed to secure “the one” or look for flaws proving your inadequacy. Others may sympathetically try to set you up and seem disappointed when it doesn’t work out. As if you’re to blame in some way.
I know. I’ve been through it year after year. I won’t lie. I pine for that special someone God has yet to reveal in my life. I yearn for a companion who will walk with me in faith. There are times when I wonder, Do you even remember me, God? Plenty of magazines will share articles on how to survive the holidays and all that rubbish. But the thing is, you and I aren’t surviving. We’re living our Christian faith, joyfully and abundantly. So instead, I’m going to share with you how to enjoy the holidays as a single woman.
1.FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SPIRITUAL HEALTH
It’s the end of the year; many of us will slack off our spiritual regimens. I’ve already seen people sharing their spiritual resolutions for next year. But there’s a whole month before the end of the year! Strengthen your relationship with God during this time. Spend more time in prayer and meditation. Make thanksgiving a daily attitude, prepare for Christmas with fasting and petition, make the New Year the launch for a new ministry or a personal spiritual milestone. In short, sow the seeds of faith, hope, joy, and love in your soul.
2. CONCENTRATE ON YOUR EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS
I can’t stress how important this is. Last year, after my dad passed away, I realized I’d spent so many Christmases away from my family. I was working or studying and I hadn’t been home to be with him. How much I regret not celebrating all those Christmases with him, telling him how much he meant to me. God has blessed you with many people in your life. So this Christmas season, make peace with them, shower your love on them, help them if they’re struggling spiritually, and tell them how thankful you are. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to meet their needs. You never know when God may call them home.
3. STAY IN THE MOMENT
Everyone’s in a hurry to get nowhere fast. We’re so focused on the future, and when we’re not, we’re dwelling in the past. Stop doing that! Enjoy the present moment. Everything is in God’s hands and He can make up for lost time. He wants you to enjoy the moment (Matthew 6:34). Take in the rich colour of the falling leaves, feel the bite of cold on your nose, enjoy the scents of pumpkin and cinnamon, of sweets and eggnog.
Revel in the laughter of children and the cheery jokes of the old. Enjoy a goofy dance with your parents, share recipes with your siblings, and bake with and for your friends and co-workers. You’re a single woman. God has given you this time for a reason.
4. LIVE IN THE LIGHT OF GOD
Are you really living? Or are you just surviving one day to the next? If you’re bogged down by shame, guilt, self-pity, hurt, sadness, or sin, then examine your own conscience during your prayer time. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you. Ask God’s forgiveness, remedy your mistakes, and move on. God is all-forgiving. He sent His only Son to pay the price for your sins. God has wiped your slate clean. If anyone is manipulating you through your emotions, then remind yourself you are the daughter of a King. You were made in His image.
5. ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Single does not mean lonely. God has promised to be with you always until the end of time (Matthew 28:20). He has carved your name in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16). No man will die for you, no man will look for you when you’re lost, and your mother may even forget about you from time to time. But not God. His Son would have died for you, even if you were the only one in this world. What love our Saviour has for us! If you think you’re alone, look around you. God is using others to take care of you… or asking you to take care of them.
Think about those in your life: lonely neighbours, the sick and homebound, children without a parent, or widows in need of assistance. You know them for a reason, so bloom where you are planted, because God is always with you.
Before the holidays begin, I hope all of you single women make a plan to live and enjoy these days. Singleness is not a desert, it’s a time for sowing, growing, and knowing that no matter what happens in your life, God always wants what’s best for you.
Article by Pamela Q Fernandez
Featuring in December edition of Lady Talk